Discovering that I navigate the world with a unique lens, unseen by many, has shed light on the challenges I faced in forming friendships, especially with fellow women. It's an intriguing journey that unveils the intricacies of my interactions and the barriers that seemed insurmountable at times. Living in my own world when I discover that the world is beautifully nasty.
As a child, I quickly realized that, regardless of my actions, biases persisted. I refused to believe that societal norms were so deeply ingrained, having witnessed the efforts of those before me trying to reshape the world. Little did I know that the challenges I faced were intricately woven into the fabric of my being, making it a unique struggle to connect with others.
The curse of assimilation:
Responding to bullying with physicality, I was raised to be tough outside and kind at home, guided by the wisdom of karate and the cinematic prowess of Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. Yearning to fit in, I faced the paradox of being a dark-skinned woman with an Arabic name in a land that preached assimilation. I became a symbol of resistance, inadvertently pushing away potential friends.
Easier to live in my bubble:
To escape the biases of my birthplace, I delved into learning languages, calligraphy, and culinary arts. The more I immersed myself in solitary pursuits, the happier I became. Little did I know that my circle of friends, later revealed as mere acquaintances, was a facade. Reflecting on my youth, I discovered I was the Samson surrounded by Delilahs, a realization that changed the trajectory of my understanding of friendships.
Gossip: The favorite weapon of deceit:
Unaware of the power of words, I, as an autistic person, became an unwitting victim of gossip. Initially embraced when my self-esteem was low, I transformed into a monstrous figure when I dared to respond in kind. Every attempt to break free from the Francophone circle resulted in boycotts and isolation. The invisible web of rumors and whispers became a formidable adversary, leaving me perplexed and disheartened.
Embracing Life's Trials: A Reminder for Muslims to Preserve Their Well-being:
Embracing my identity as an autistic individual became the greatest gift of my life. Despite the attempts to shatter my spirit with words, I found solace in the belief that Allah, written in the sacred Arabic script, is with us. Everything is transient, and this article is a testament to every disabled Muslim woman who reads it. "Allah doesn't burden a soul beyond that it can bear."
We the Muslim, we win hearts, not people:
In the tapestry of life, where friendships may be elusive and challenges insurmountable, the true victory lies in winning hearts. As a Muslim, I understand that life is a test, and the struggles we face are temporary. Embracing one's identity, regardless of societal biases, is a powerful act of resilience. Remember, "We the Muslim, we win hearts, not people." In the grand design of life, authenticity prevails, and our unique journeys become testaments to the strength within us. Whatever happens in life, never take your own life; it's not worth it, as everything is temporary. ✨
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